Infertility is agonizing. Unfortunately, one in eight women in the U.S. endures the pain and heartache of not knowing if they will ever be a mommy. This is according to data from the Centers for Disease Control (National Survey of Family Growth).

With National Infertility Awareness week coming to an end, here are 3 things you can say and 3 things not to say to families with infertility.
Three things to say.
1. What can I do for you?
This could be prayers, words of encouragement, or even just a hug. Infertility wears families down. Letting families know you care breathes some life into a weary soul.
2. We support you.
Families going through infertility have a lot to consider. They are weighing several options including fertility treatments, adoption, foster care, or even embryo adoption as ways to grow their family. Unfortunately, each step comes with its own set of hurdles like financial, emotional, and logistical issues to overcome. Supporting whatever decision those families choose to make will give them hope and encouragement.
3. We love you.
This is a simple one. Hug those dealing with fertility. The emotions of infertility can be devastating. Saying "I love you" goes a long way.
Three things not to say.
1. Have you thought about adoption?
Trust me, any couple going through infertility has thought about every option to have a child. Adoption is beautiful! However, it's not feasible for every family. We were told our age would hinder us from being chosen because birth moms want younger couples. We also considered foster care, but the local agency told us they needed families who know the end goal is reunification for the child to go back to their biological family. The agency warned us, not every family can take the emotional strain of being a foster family, especially if our end goal was to build a family.
2. Just relax.
Nails on a chalkboard. Just don’t say it! Families going through infertility feel like their life is on hold until a child is in the nursery. Plus, they are spending thousands of dollars in the process. Unless you’ve been in those shoes, saying “relax” can come off as a callous remark. For myself, it is only by the grace and peace of God that I'm starting to relax and surrender our situation to Him. But, it's taken a long time to get here.
3. At least you have peace and quiet.
Yes, we know kids come with a lot of noise and leave big messes around every inch of your house, but it's a hassle and burden families struggling to have children DESPERATELY DESIRE. I want a noisy house filled with laughs, cries, and screams because the current quietness I do have reinforces an empty nursery.
Infertility impacts every part of your life. It affects your mental health, your physical health, and your relationships. Above all, consider your words before talking with families undergoing infertility. While having a child might have been easy for you, it's not for everyone.
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