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2020 was supposed to...

Writer's picture: Candi LasterCandi Laster


The promises of 2020 are long gone. If you are like me, you probably had high hopes and aspirations for what this year would bring. Then March hit, and it all went down the drain.


Goals, dreams, desires – everything 2020 was supposed to be – gone in an instant.


For my husband and me, 2020 was going to be the year we had a baby. Whether through fertility treatment or adoption, this was the year our family would move from a party of two to a party of three. It was the same goal for 2019, but after two failed fertility treatments, we were even more emphatic in our commitment from the moment the clock struck midnight. Now, 12 months later, it breaks my heart to report our "one-day" baby room remains dark and empty.


As 2020 unveiled its year of uncertainty and stress, our baby goal took a back seat to just trying to survive our day-to-day life. Even though we wanted this year to fly by, now that it has, I'm sitting here stunned, wondering, "Where did the time go?". I look back at the past 12 months and realize our dedication and priorities got derailed as we allowed stress from Covid-19 and our work responsibilities to overtake us.


We are not alone. The stress of 2020 derailed the plans for so many people. Families canceled their plans for fear of spreading the virus. Frontline workers worked tirelessly to help those suffering, even isolating themselves from their own families. We watched business owners close their doors, losing everything. On top of that, remote learning brought new challenges for teachers, kids and parents!


I'm don't know about you, but I'm exhausted from this past year. My heart is weary, and my mind is cluttered from all of the chaos. I have to admit, part of the problem is due to me forgoing any quiet time with the Lord to make time for worldly priorities. Not smart, I know.


How have you handled the change or loss of what you expected 2020 to bring? What's been your response to the Lord?


"Though you have made me see troubles, many and bitter, you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again." Psalm 71: 20-21


As I read through Psalms, the above verses stood out to me. David starts off acknowledging the struggles he's going through, "Though you have made me see troubles" (I think we can all relate this to 2020), he ends knowing the Lord will restore his life again. Restoration is such a beautiful word. Think about it for just a second. Restoration. Doesn't it just warm your soul knowing every battle and uncertainty we've gone through during 2020 will be restored? It's a word filled with hope for a weary, worn-out soul.


Another word that hit me in those verses was the word "again." David says, "you will restore my life again; from the depths of the earth you will again bring me up. You will increase my honor and comfort me once again."


Needing to be restored was not new to David. He's been here before. As his relationship with the Lord grew, David knew he could count on the Lord to restore him, again. And again, the Lord was faithful in doing what he says he will do. When we feel overwhelmed and heartbroken, it's comforting to know all we have to do is reach out and, once again, He will be there to pull us up. He will be there to take our broken plans and restore them.


Sometimes restoration includes going through the fire. I would say 2020 has been a fire! Though it hurts going through the process, God teaches us in the fire, He refines us in the fire, and He strengthens us in the fire.


My husband and I will continue to make growing our family a priority in 2021, but we will do things differently.


1. We won't get sidetracked by the constant chatter of this world.

2. We will stick closer to what the Lord is leading us to do.

3. We will prioritize our quiet time with the Lord so we can hear his voice.


Most importantly, we will rejoice in the Lord for his great deeds, no matter if that one-day baby room remains empty by this time next year.


We didn't know what 2020 would bring, and we don't know what 2021 has in store either. What we do know is the Lord is still on His throne. He will continue to refine and restore His children. And, He will continue to be Lord of all.

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